How to talk to children who have, or you suspect may have, suffered sexual abuse
Achieving Best Evidence in Criminal Proceedings: Guidance on Interviewing Victims and Witnesses, and Guidance on Using Special Measures [1] (Ministry of Justice/National Police Chiefs Council, January 2022) sets out requirements and best practice for interviews with victims and witnesses of child sexual abuse. The ABE guidance is primarily for Police professionals who will be leading the interview with children and young people.
Dorset Police have developed a 7 minute practitioner briefing on providing support and therapy to children and young people where there are ongoing criminal investigations [2]. This aims to provide clarity to non-police practitioners around their ongoing support to children, young people, and families during an ongoing criminal investigation.
Effective support and trusting relationships with professionals are critical for children if they are ever to feel able to begin to tell of intra-familial abuse. It may for example feel safer for the child if they can write about or draw the abuse as opposed to saying things out loud. Children may display certain behaviours to communicate their abuse or show signs that they hope adults will react to, and this may be particularly important for disabled children.
Gender, sexual orientation, disability, or ethnicity may be important factors to consider in developing trusting and effective safeguarding relationships; this fact highlights the need for cultural competence in safeguarding practice, and especially in direct work with children.
It is important for professionals to be open minded and provide opportunities for children to share what is happening to them by engaging them in friendly and supportive discussions that ask them how they are doing and what is going on.
When you speak to a child, it is important to be clear in what you say and to ask them appropriate questions. Most sexual abuse survivors were never directly asked if they were being abused. Having difficult conversations and knowing the right language to use can be tricky so here are some helpful tips and considerations:
- Pick your time and place carefully – Choose a space where the child is comfortable or ask them where they’d like to talk. Avoid talking in front of someone who may be causing the harm.
- Be aware of your tone – If you start the conversation in a serious tone, you may scare the child, and they may be more likely to give you the answers they think you want to hear—rather than the truth. Try to make the conversation more casual. A non-threatening tone will help put the child at ease and ultimately provide you with more accurate information.
- Where it is necessary to ask questions, they should, as far as possible in the circumstances, be open-ended or specific-closed rather than forced-choice, leading or multiple, avoiding evidential detail where possible.
- Listen and follow up – Allow the child to talk freely. Wait for them to pause, and then follow up on points that made you feel concerned. Make sure, where this is possible, that you ask the child to explain their understanding of the terms they are using, and that you understand the context of what they are saying in order to ascertain if abuse is occurring.
- Avoid judgment and blame – Avoid placing blame by beginning your conversation with “You”, for example, “You said something that made me worry…” Instead, consider starting your conversation with the word “I.” For example: “I am concerned because I heard you say that you are not allowed to sleep in your bed by yourself.”
- Reassure the child – Make sure that the child knows that they are not in trouble. Let them know you are simply asking questions because you are concerned about them.
- Be patient – Remember that this conversation may be very frightening for the child. Many perpetrators make threats about what will happen if someone finds out about the abuse. They may tell a child that they will be put into foster care or threaten them or their loved ones with physical violence. Not every child will be able to share information with you if it’s the first time you have met them, sometimes you may have to revisit the same questions if you feel they are not able to tell you what may be happening to them.
The above guidance might also be helpful when working with family members or professionals who may be able to provide further information that will inform a decision about next steps.
Practice Tip
Be aware of your own barriers, or prejudices. Is your gender or the child’s gender an issue, do you feel able to ask the right questions? If you believe the family member you are working with is an abuser, are you still able to treat them with respect? These are just some of the challenges that professionals need to be honest about and reflect on. If you are worried or need support, speak to your Advanced Practitioner, or line manager who can help you to have those reflective conversations and overcome any challenges with the children and families you are working with. See also: Stereotyping by practitioners preventing disclosure of child sexual abuse in ethnic minority groups | Community Care [3]
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