Being mistreated or abused (sometimes called ‘Significant Harm’) is defined as Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Neglect or Emotional Abuse.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is when a child or young person is pressurised, forced, tricked or coerced into taking part in any kind of sexual activity with an adult or another young person.  This can include kissing, touching the young person’s genitals (private parts) or breasts, intercourse or oral sex. It can happen to anyone – boys and girls. If you are being sexually abused it’s not your fault and you’re not alone.

Here are some links to helpful websites which may be able to help you answer some of the questions you have about this.

• Childline – Sexual Abuse explained
• Link to the NSPCC ‘PANTS’ Underwear Rule Campaign
• Say Something – A space for young people to share any worries they have about themselves or their friends. The helpline is provided by a national charity with lots of experience in supporting young people. As well as the helpline, there are a number of resources to help raise awareness about safe and healthy relationships available on the website. It’s free, 24/7 and anonymous. If you have concerns about yourself or a friend then Call or Text 116 000 to talk to someone who can support you.

Dorset Police are raising awareness around consent and are encouraging the reporting of incidents

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone deliberately hurts or injures you. Hitting, kicking, beating with objects, throwing and shaking are all physical abuse, and can cause pain, cuts, bruising, broken bones and sometimes even death.

No one has the right to hurt you in this way.

 Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is when someone tries to make you feel bad. This can be saying things on purpose to scare you, put you down, humiliate or hurt you, or being unfairly blamed for everything all the time.

Neglect

Neglect means not being looked after properly, for example, not getting enough to eat or being left alone in dangerous situations.

Every young person needs, and has a right, to have:

• clothes that are clean and warm and shoes that fit and keep you dry
• enough to eat and drink
• protection from dangerous situations
• somewhere warm, dry and comfortable to sleep
• help when you’re ill or you’ve been hurt
• care from your parents or carers
• support with your education
• access to and help with medication, if needed

Every child and young person has the right to be looked after properly. If you’re not getting the important things you need at home, you could be being neglected.

It can be hard to work out if you’re being neglected. Sometimes parents may not even realise they are neglecting their children.

Watch this short film from Childline

 

Read Steve’s story on the Childline website – he talks about how neglect affected him when he was growing up.

You can find out more by reading the NSPCCs guide for young people Neglect Matters

Here are some links to helpful websites which may be able to help you answer some of the questions you have about this.

Childline – information on neglect

My parents don’t care about me

Domestic Violence

When one adult in a family or relationship threatens, bullies or hurts another member of the family e.g. physically, psychologically, emotionally, sexually or financially.

Domestic abuse affects children and young people. We know that they are more aware of what’s happening than parents often think. How they respond depends on their age, personality and support network, but they recover best when they are helped to understand and to process what is happening or has happened to them. Children living with domestic abuse need to be identified, protected and supported

Daisy talks about how her dad abused her mum. She is now 22 years old and when she was younger her mum was abused by her dad.   When she was aged 10 she realised what was going on and realised that something wasn’t quite right.

 

Children and young people may:

• feel confused, anxious, angry, afraid, isolated, ashamed, guilty
• risk injury by being caught in between parents
• be unable to concentrate and to achieve at school
• be used to threaten victims (to harm children or ‘have them taken into care’)
• not have their own needs fully met by a parent who is struggling to cope with being abused
• be directly abused by the person who is harming the adult
• develop ways of coping that are harmful e.g. running away or using substances
• get into trouble because they are copying the behaviour they have witnessed

Young people can be at risk in their teen relationships.  There is evidence that young people’s relationships can be just as harmful as adults. We want to do all we can to help those who are harmed and support those who are harming others to change.

Here are some links to helpful websites which may be able to help you answer some of the questions you have about this.

Refuge – provides specialist support to women, children and some men escaping domestic violence and other forms of violence. Here you can find out more about these forms of violence and abuse.

Dorset Police – provides information on services available and what action can be taken.

The Youtrust – Work on developing and delivering services that reduce harm and increase safety for all victims and survivors of domestic abuse – women, men and children.

The Hideout – Women’s Aid have created this space to help young people understand domestic abuse, and how to take positive action if it’s happening to you.

Contact with abusive parents

One serious issue impacting the wellbeing of children is that of contact with abusive parents following a separation or divorce. Courts start from the presumption that contact with the non-resident parent is in the best interests of the child and so most children are required to have some kind of contact but this must of course be managed safely.

You can find out more about this from the Children and family court advisory and support service